For two decades a big amount of grass root women organizations did a tremendous lobbying. In October 2000 the UN Security Council adopted resolution 1325 on Women, Peace and Security. For the first time the SC affirmed that integrating a gender perspective and ensuring women's participation in decision-making was necessary at all stages of pre-conflict, armed conflict and post-conflict.

The paragraphs of 1325 deals only with the necessity of women being part of peace processes and include nothing on active non violence as a method to decrease violence, but on the path of 1325 the resolution has started to be connected with active non violence. Perhaps active non violence comes naturally for those who have suffered the most due to violence and at the same time been left out in dealing with how to overcome it?

If a murderer wishes to express the felt root of violence the person in question might say: “The words that we speak to each other”. That makes it legitimate for me to practice non violence exercises, for our words spring out from what our bodies have experienced and therefore we have to start with our own bodies and minds and train us in awareness.

1325-lecture made for the International Women’s gathering of Church of Sweden, August 9th, 2007:

The Words That We Speak
to Each Other

Should we all move to Norway?

At this very moment we’re not far from the border to Norway. We, as women, constitute 51% of the inhabitants on this planet Earth. Perhaps we should all move to Norway? That is a peaceful thought – as Norway is found to be the top nation whose men, women and children experience absences of violence. Norway is followed by New Zealand and Denmark. See www.visionofhumanity.com. The bottom three violent nations are Iraq, Sudan and Israel. The United States is ranked amongst the most violent at 96th out of 121 nations ranked in the study, and is highly involved in funding, and consequently highly involved in influencing, two of three nations at the bottom of the list.

The least violent nations share a number of common characteristics, such as high levels of democracy, lack of government corruption, broadly spread material well-being and equal access to quality education for its citizens. They share low levels of homicide, incarceration, military spending. Perhaps then; should we all move to Norway? Or should we rather stay where we are in order to widen the peacefulness – to let it spread further than to Norway!

To let peace come true through devoted work of women on all levels in society is the purpose of UN-resolution 1325 which we are to implement in this country. If we are to summon up all the paragraphs of 1325 in one short sentence it could say: 1325 emphasises the necessity of active women to gain peace in conflict areas.

The different paragraphs of the resolution state the methods for this to be realized. As women constitute more than half of the inhabitants on Earth it is just that women have their say in how to make peace. Is truth to be told – then every voice is important and most important should the voices be of those who never have had an opportunity to speak out in conflict areas; those whose role has always been the least important from the nations’ point of view.
Women and children are the civil persons suffering the most due to violence during a conflict. 1325 mentions this. Is it true that women and children suffer the most due to having had the least possibility to have their say?

The professor of history at the University of Lund, Eva Österberg, defines what war does to people throughout history: it “hollows out our humanity and undermines our respect for the sacredness of life”. (Kvinnor och våld – en mångtydig kulturhistoria, Nordic Academic Press, p. 301) As a preparation for this presentation I’ve asked a number of women living in the Middle East, North America and Sweden on the situation for women, 1325 and the most important factor to gain peace. (The entire questionnaire with the respective answers on this and on the situation of women and 1325 will be found here.)

The younger ones voted for love to be the most important factor while the older ones saw justice as the main factor for reaching peace. I quote the words of one of the women; Suzanne Belleci, instructor at a Peacebuilding Institute in the USA (who kindly shared the link above): “Before I moved to Palestine, I believed the most important tool for gaining peace was granting forgiveness/extending mercy. Now I feel there can be no forgiveness on a grand scale without acknowledgement by the other of the pain that has been caused. This is what I call justice.”

Could it be that the two replies are interlinked - that love is needed, and is the underlying principle in order to reach a will for the over all important justice? The philosopher of religion, Catharina Stenqvist, writes: “Out of empathy and protest grows justice.” (Kvinnor och våld – en mångtydig kulturhistoria, p. 317).

Conflict is a troublesome word. What are your associations when hearing the word conflict? Is it entirely negative? Conflict can also be something positive – and not to be afraid of. If we prevent violence that does necessarily lead to conflict, but seeking justice might well cause conflict – but also stability. Diana Frances who has trained us in Sweden in non violence and 1325, stresses the difference between conflict resolution and conflict transformation - the latter to be an ongoing process in every level of society. Conflict is sometimes needed in order to achieve justice.

If we visualize a mountain and name the mountain the mountain of problem solving, it consists of both the basis of affirmation (including self respect and respect for others), a mass of communication – found in active listening – and a top of cooperation. So having incorporated respect the task is to rebuild communication – in order to achieve cooperation. The words that we speak to each other are important. What helps and what hinders in conflict? When you encounter conflict at home or at work – what helps out?... Has anything helped the parties to see the conflict as a shared problem?

What has helped you to go from feeling; this is impossible to know that this is actually possible? What are the hindrances when you encounter conflict?... (Free interpretation of lecture notes from 1325-training with Diana Frances, January 2006) Do you recall a moment in your life when you have been involved in conflict for the sake of justice?

If we look at history, most societies that we know of have been patriarchal – leaving little room for women as leading voices in society. The theologian of ethics, Elisabeth Gerle writes in her book Human Rights – for God’s sake (Mänskliga rättigheter – för Guds skull, Nya Doxa) on the midwifes in Egypt who according to Ex:2 refused to report the newborns to be killed by the army of Pharaoh and they did this without resorting to violence. Elisabeth Gerle mentions this to be perhaps the oldest known example of civil resistance or civil disobedience.

A sociological study (Peggy Reeves Sanday, “The Socio-Cultural Context of Rape: A Cross-Cultural Study”, The Journal of Social Issues, 37:4 (1981)) clarifies two criteria needed for enabling a society without or with little rape. First; the existence and acceptance of women appearing as God or divine – in images. Apparently the pictures we encounter open up for the words that we use and form our way of looking at humankind.

Staying in a Coptic convent in Egypt we found giant portraits of the bishop hanging from the walls in every room. The nuns paint icons. We asked if we could buy an icon of a woman. None was to be found. I asked if they had a portrait of the abbess somewhere. The reply was negative; they as nuns were not allowed to be photographed or portrayed. Who made such a decision? The bishop – in the portraits looking down on us from the walls all over the place. This happens in a church where women and girls have to wait in the church benches while the men and the boys receive the Holy Communion. When they have finished the women and the girls may queue up. This is the rule also when there are two stations for receiving the sacrament. What signals does that give to small boys and girls? Who is more important than the other?

In any department store in Sweden one might find the clothes of the baby girls and the baby boys separated - even in different areas - so as to clearly show who is to wear a pretty little pink dress with flowers and who is to have a tough black jacket with death’s heads. It is the same language we allow in the Coptic church of Egypt and the Swedish society: Some are supposed to grow up to be strong and some are supposed to be weak. And then when it comes to a conflict we hit the weak for being weak. Rapes are not only common in open conflict and by the other – the enemy. Palestinian women and young girls at this moment suffer an increasing amount of domestic violence.

Every time I’ve needed to walk through the Old Town of Jerusalem wearing the collar of priesthood I’ve been greeted by Muslim and Christian Palestinian women through their glances. Their eyes have been filled with longing. I’ve interpreted that longing to be one of strength and redress: Of true value – for being the one they are; Good and thus Godlike. This touches upon the second criteria in the sociological study that enables a society with only little or without rape: Women taking an active role in religious ritual. Role models are vital. Especially when being close to what is divine. The Lutheran Church in the Holy Land (in contrast to the Anglican Church there) is open to ordained women. I find that courageous in such a context. But the bishop dr Munib Younan once told me that no calls had been found. No wonder. How to believe that one is a lion when living among sheep? (The African tale told on the lion living among sheep believing herself to be a sheep until she saw herself on the surface of the lake and roared out of fear for what she encountered and thus found her true self.)

The lion needs the mirroring lake to see its true face and to find its true roaring voice – whatever call is at stake. I believe that we all have calls for being peace workers. There is a peaceful and strong lion within every one of us – waiting to be released – freed.

The sociological study with its emphasis on the importance of women images of God and liturgy done by women in services is an evident parallel to 1325 and its aim to integrate a gender perspective (corresponding with women images of God in the study) and to ensure women's participation in decision-making (corresponding somehow with women priests as women taking an active role in religious ritual in the study). It also shows once and for all the importance of politics and religion needing to go hand in hand. What we believe in has to have an effect on society. Furthermore: Not only can a religion be affected by its contextual society. A society can also be strengthened through its religion. A church with mature members who dare to include the entire humankind in its theology of goodly creation and which is therefore not threatened by women, the other unknown; the immigrant, the handicapped, the homosexual – can through being who they were created to be; themselves - support and liberate others to see clearly that everyone has equal rights to live and breath and eat and sleep and educate and make love and long for what is good and thus for God and so become peace workers.

Promoting 1325 signifies to promote life – an aware life: A just awareness for a sustainable development. This includes an awareness of women often being in lack of supporting other women – even oppressing other women. Is this due to lack of a healthy self esteem? I’ve heard women deacons being refused to work liturgically at masses celebrated by women priests. If I do not feel secure in my own role I will feel threatened by the role of the other. I need to find the lion in myself to see that the world is filled with lions – peaceful lions. The one in power needs awareness to let go of power; in the local church board, the school board – not only for the sake of justice, but also for the sake of acknowledging our different capacities, experiences and insights to be equally valuable when it comes to decision-making – or executing what others have wisely decided upon. 1325 is one such wise decision. It’s our responsibility to make it come true – to implement it. It is not strange that women have needed 2000 years after Mary gave birth to Peace to enable UN-resolution 1325. 31st of October 2000 it gave birth – through the hard work and talent of many women organizations.

Some days ago I asked two young Swedish women to speak out and share with you from their experience of violence. They’ve both agreed to do so. I need to stress that neither of them has been my parish member or anything similar. Our connection is entirely private. Therefore I’ve felt free to ask them. They are both daughters of priests in the Church of Sweden. They have been sexually abused through incest respectively severely raped through incest. One of them wishes to tell you that it was the priest, her father, who violated her.

In order to gain peace one of them held love and the other woman held courage to be the most important factor. She found clear vision and courage to act as a way of overcoming violence. The other found that this is done through healing ones heart and mind.

I asked them what was the worst part of being sexually abused.
One of them answered: The exploitation in a situation of dependence, its deceit, the consequences; years of shame, feelings of guilt and disgust, the lessened will to live and how all the emotions took form in physical pain and other physical and psychological symptoms. The other woman mentions the blame that the child was given, the silenced situation, the conception of reality that is taken away from the child, the doubts of her own senses, lack of normality, lack of support and lack of parents who take the role of a parent, the double life, being oppressed by feelings of guilt.

I also asked what has helped them to reconcile. Their answers included those of the first two questions: The courage to gain peace in the world is also the courage needed to reach inner peace of mind. The clear vision to overcome violence is firstly needed to reconcile within.
For the other woman the love needed for reaching peace is the same love to be found within experienced as God or a light in its different forms.

Both women had in different ways discovered that the recourses to reconcile were to be found within: One of them mentions a trust in being as whole as she allows herself to be. The other woman says that following her heart is needed in order to know what to do. The two violated women are in a process of being able to overcome the violence. Being sexually abused has not hindered them to stretch out towards peace. So can we. We have nothing to lose being peace workers. We can be ourselves and be peaceful. The words that we speak to each other are important. Through awareness can we have inner and outer peace.

What gifts do you carry within
that you want to share with others
and so become a peacemaker?

Susanne Grimheden